The “Marriage Proposal on the First Date” Problem in B2B Sales
Would you ask someone to marry you on the first date?
No. You’d get a strange look at best — and probably a hard no.
And yet, many B2B sales teams do exactly this every day. One cold call. One LinkedIn DM. One sales brochure. Immediate pitch. Then confusion when the buyer “goes dark.”
Salespeople aren’t being irrational. They’re being rushed.
In high-pressure environments, it’s easy to believe that the goal is to convert — not connect. But sales, like any meaningful relationship, runs on timing, trust, and relevance. Skip those, and you’re not just early. You’re irrelevant.
Sales Is a Courtship, Not a Campaign
At 1000Steps, we often use the analogy of courtship to help founders and B2B sales teams reset their approach to demand generation and pipeline engagement. It’s not just romantic metaphor. It’s behavioral science.
People don’t buy because you’re available. They buy when they’re ready — and when you’ve earned their trust.
Just like in relationships, commitment takes time:
- The buyer needs to know who you are
- They need to believe you understand their world
- They need to trust that you’ll deliver
- And they need to want what you’re offering — in their own time
In B2B sales, readiness is everything. And readiness is built, not found.
The Data Behind Patience
If that sounds like soft advice, here’s the hard data:
Les Binet and Peter Field’s econometric meta-analysis of advertising effectiveness — arguably the most cited in marketing history — showed that the short-term ROI of ad spend was around £1.87 for every pound spent. But when the campaigns were extended over 24 months, the ROI more than doubled to £4.11.
The principle is clear: Sustained, consistent presence outperforms bursts of activity.
Your buyers need to see you multiple times, across different contexts, to mentally place you as the “go-to” when they need help. That’s when the call comes back.
So, What Should You Do Instead?
Here’s how we help sales teams shift from “pitch and push” to “nurture and be present”:
1. Get Clear on Who You Serve
Start by clarifying who you’re actually helping and why. If you’re not clear on this, your messaging will always be scattergun — and feel generic to the buyer.
Tip: Revisit your ICP. Not just firmographics, but context — what’s going on in their world that makes your solution relevant?
2. Map Their Journey — Not Just Your Funnel
It’s not about your process. It’s about theirs. Map the actual journey your ideal customers go through: discovery, awareness, internal alignment, procurement processes. Then mirror that in your touchpoints.
This applies to both clients and prospects. Think long term.
Explore more in our guide to structured sales processes →
3. Design Your Cadence with Intent
Consistency matters more than frequency. For some stakeholders, two meaningful interactions a year is ideal. For others, it might be monthly.
The key is relevance. A cadence should:
- Feel personal, not automated
- Be spaced to avoid burnout
- Deliver real value every time
We’ve seen enterprise buyers call monthly emails “spam” while SME founders thank you for weekly content. Know your audience.
4. Vary the Medium — Not Just the Message
Not all touchpoints are emails or calls. Consider:
- Sharing insightful content
- Personal video updates
- Inviting them to a relevant roundtable or event
- Introducing them to someone useful in your network
- Responding to something they posted
Use CRM to track this properly →
5. Measure Value, Not Just Activity
Before hitting send or making that call, ask:
“Is this something they’ll be better off for having received?”
If the answer is no, don’t send it.
This mindset shift is powerful. It prevents lazy outreach and helps you stay relevant without over-communicating.
6. Don’t Ghost When It Goes Quiet
Quiet leads aren’t dead leads. They’re just not ready — yet.
One of the biggest mistakes we see is disappearing when engagement dips. Stay in touch. Be visible. Keep the door open.
A past prospect becomes a current buyer far more often than you think — if they remember who you are.
Discover how to nurture leads with intention →
A Final Thought: Trust Is Earned in the Gaps
The space between touchpoints is where trust is built.
Anyone can be charming in a single meeting. The real measure is who shows up a month later, unprompted, with something useful — not because they want a sale, but because they want to help.
That’s how you stay top of mind when the timing finally aligns.
So ask yourself: Do you have a plan beyond your next two touchpoints?
If not, now’s the time to build one.
Ready to Build a Consistent, Value-Driven Sales Engagement Plan?
If your team is stuck in reactive, sporadic outreach — or if your CRM is more of a graveyard than a growth engine — we can help.
1000Steps works with founders and sales leaders to create structured, scalable engagement strategies that actually match how buyers behave.
👉 Contact us to start the conversation
FAQ about Relationship-Based B2B Selling
Why shouldn’t I push for a sale early?
Because most buyers aren’t ready when you first contact them. Leading with value and building trust increases conversion when the timing is right.
How often should I contact my leads?
It depends on your audience. C-suite buyers may prefer 1–2 quality touchpoints per year. Other roles may respond well to monthly updates. The key is relevance, not frequency.
What counts as a valuable touchpoint?
Something the buyer genuinely benefits from — content, insight, introductions, context — not just another ask or sales pitch.
How do I stay top of mind without annoying people?
Use varied, valuable interactions spaced appropriately. Track engagement and listen for signals of readiness.